HAH... yr rid of me, finally.
love .. some of you.
take care.
i'll be back... maybe.

aim - im "emmiwee" goes to my real cell now...

so, message me...

here are some 2 month old pictures of my puppy - oliver. [border collie/pitbull mix]
he's around 5 months old now..
[cos i know most people haven't seen them]
he's adorable ---> oLLie pictures
he's such a mommy's boy...

againagainagain.
i want what i can't have.... i could have [him]...
but i don't want something based on bullshit..
i'm not a replacement for anyone
my ego?
perhaps... more of being a realistic about the whole thing.
if he's not over [her]...
he's not prepared for the whirlwind of emily.
[or am i making excuses to not get close/intimate with someone?]

LAURA - call me. i miss you.

im back.. i promise.
[updates soon!]

*sigh*
laura.. pick up the phone and let me know yr okay... or not okay.. that's all i ask.

yr the reoccurring kind.
you already ever leave my mind..

i have 9 people at house to hear all their chatter... and shallow conversation.
and all i want to do is hear her voice.
some more meaning...

<td>
you scored as the red queen. you have control issues, you anger easily, your favorite color is red, and you've always wanted to roll someone's head. can anyone say, "anger management?"

</td>

the red queen		88%
the catapillar		81%
the mad hatter		56%
the cheshire cat		56%
alice		50%
the white rabbit		25%

could you survive wonderland?
created with quizfarm.com

[warning - a "general" statement]

loyalty and general decent treatment of people often refered to as "friends" seems completely uncomprendable to most people. [i know]
convenience is a "quality" that carries much more importance than loyalty, understanding, or respect in relations with others.
and what is so bewildering to me is their faux sense of maturity that they use to hang their heads high with some erie and misguided confidence that they have figured it out. [even to think you understand is so naive - there is no absolute truth to anything... just a side note]
when really their "understanding" is lame justifications for selfish actions, thoughts, "values". this mind frame has not development out of the wordily, well-read, perhaps even "street-wise" experience they'd like to believe they posses but rather it's the convenience, the easiest way...
*sigh*
friend or enemy?
it changes so often with so many,
i've chosen convenience as well.
indifference,
i give up.
[indeed, i "sold-out" to apathy. but i fought and fought while most went the easy way years & years ago[

but please grow up. [for yr own sake]
question yrself... not just others.

er.. sorry, if this doesnt make any sense.. i might fix it later but im off to atlantic city soon.
weee.

hah. i'm 22 now.

it's so fucking hot out. damn baltimore. i need to go somewhere north... asap. my birthday is in less than a week and nothing to do. 22... how lame is that?

Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis
Postmodernism - 94%
Cultural Creative - 69%
Materialist - 63%
Idealist - 56%
Existentialist - 50%
Modernist - 44%
Romanticist - 31%
Fundamentalist - 31%

from a whats yr world view quiz at quizfarm.com

...is there?
i know many people who the loneliness isn't new to them. they have being dealing with it all their lives.

it's so fucking hard to have it all yr life and just lose it..

there is a six year rotation for hurricane names... and guess what? it's my turn next... dennis hit this weekend. well, if it ever turns into a hurricane right now.. it's just tropical depression emily.
[they should really stop using proper names for these storms]

hehe, no one really knows the extact time of birth but it was around 6pm... so, i did both sides...

yr rising sign is aquarius

you are an interesting mix of introspective and outlandish. waving your freak flag high, you really do things your own way. while you may seem distant, you care very deeply for humanity. you just have no tolerance for fools, slackers, or dullards. and while you're fairly misanthropic, many are drawn to you.innovative and clever, people look to you for new ideas and trends.

yr rising sign is pisces

dreaming and introspective, yr often lost in yr thoughts. which is okay by you... you're inner world is pretty darn awesome. and while you are inwardly confident, sometimes you seem a bit unsure. people often handle you more delicately than they need to. you love luxury, and even if you're a bit broke, you want things to look "rich." mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma.

i think aquarius is more "accurate"

i'm not really pissed off right this moement but i remeber when i first heeard this song being played and couldn't find it on the internet.. so, i gave up... to find months later - abbey downloaded sometime.. and the time i heard this song live for some reason i just love it.. it's simple, to the point, faith is fading...


[when the preisdent talks...][bright eyes]
when the president talks to god
are the conversations brief or long?
does he ask to rape our women’s' rights
and send poor farm kids off to die?
does god suggest an oil hike
when the president talks to god?

when the president talks to god
are the consonants all hard or soft?
is he resolute all down the line?
is every issue black or white?
does what god say ever change his mind
when the president talks to god?

when the president talks to god
does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
agree which convicts should be killed?
where prisons should be built and filled?
which voter fraud must be concealed
when the president talks to god?

when the president talks to god
i wonder which one plays the better cop
we should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
no, they're lazy, feorge, i say we don't
just give em more liquor stores and dirty coke
that's what god recommends

when the president talks to god
do they drink near beer and go play golf
while they pick which countries to invade
which muslim souls still can be saved?
i guess god just calls a spade a spade
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
does he ever think that maybe he's not?
that that voice is just inside his head
when he kneels next to the presidential bed
does he ever smell his own bullshit
when the president talks to god?
i doubt it.

sigh

you are chocolate chip ice cream

you are kind, popular, and generous. you tend to be successful at anything you try. a social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd. you are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

sigh
i wish i could laugh at that..
but yeah
that's depressing
i'm going to go do drugs...

i've been waiting for howard bloom's new book to come out for awhile... every time i go to the bookstore - i try to look it up [even tho i know it's not out yet.. just in case] something even better happened today, on his website they were offering howard bloom's signed and numbered drafts of version 1.02 [only 20 copies available] of his new book, not out yet. and i'm getting one! no one is nearly as excited as i am but he is my god..

i even know where he lives now.... [!]
perhaps i'll take up some stalking tonight...

or dealing.
yeah, dealing.
;)

also, the association for politics and the life sciences [one of the strange societies i belong to, that i don't have credentials to really be in but i pay my dues] is having their annual meeting for 4 days in washington dc at the end of august.. in conjunction with the american political science association annual meeting. [i'm a member of this society as well..]
kickfuckingass.

tension.
tension .

i might fix this later...